CHUCK_DANGER HAS WON THIS RESET'S MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! LAST MAN STANDING AWARD. TONIGHT WE GATHER 'ROUND THE MUSHROOM CLOUD, ROAST THE SACRIFICIAL WILDEBEEST AND SING A SONG OF WEAL AND WOE IN HIS HONOR! GET YOUR TISSUES HANDY!

AHEM!

THE STRUGGLE IS OVER!
THE BOYS ARE DEFEATED!
[DANGER]!'S SURROUNDED!
WITH SADNESS AND GLOOM!
WE WERE DEFEATED!
AND SHAMEFULLY TREATED!
AND I, CHARLES DANGER!
AWAITING MY DOOM!

BOLD CHARLES DANGER!
THE DARLING OF EARTH EMPIRES!
BOLD CHARLES DANGER!
WILL DIE WITH A SMILE!
FAREWELL COMPANIONS!
BOTH LOYAL AND DARING!
I LAY DOWN MY LIFE!
FOR THE COMMITTEE OF ONE!

HUNG, DRAWN AND QUARTERED!
SURE, THAT WAS MY SENTENCE!
BUT SOON, I WILL SHOW THEM!
NO COWARD AM I!
MY CRIME IS THE LOVE OF!
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
A HERO I LIVED!
AND A HERO I'LL DIE!

GOODBYE TO OLD [DANGER]!
TO WILLIAM AND JOSEPH!
COMPANIONS IN ARMS!
TO FORGET, YOU MUST TRY!
I'M PROUD OF THE HONOR!
'TWAS ONLY MY DUTY!
A HERO I LIVED!
AND A HERO I'LL DIE!

BOLD CHARLES DANGER!!!!!!!!
THE DARLING OF EARTH EMPIRES!!!!!!!
BOLD CHARLES DANGER!!!!!!
WILL DIE WITH A SMILE!!!!!!
FAREWELL COMPANIONS!!!!!!!
BOTH LOYAL AND DARING!!!!!!!
I LAY DOWN MY LIFE!!!!!
FOR THE COMMITTEE OF ONE!!!!!!!

SNIFF!

SAM
OVERLORD OF CEREMONIES,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!